Archive for the ‘budget’ Category

It’s All Up to Me

Man, I have been absolutely terrible about posting to this blog and sadly I have been even worse about working towards my goal of fierceness. I am anything but. I am tired and look like crap. I have been eating cookies and processed foods and drinking coffee and not exercising at all. Before I moved back home I was playing tennis three times a week and nearly everything I ate was homemade– overseas living made that so easy with a live-in cook and $10/hr for private lessons. But back in the US and having to rely on myself and my own motivation I have slid back into my old habits; old habits from two years ago. And the results of this new way of living is I feel disgusting. As I type this I can feel the fat on my stomach and thighs bulging. It’s really gross. I have clearly put on weight in the past three months. I am also a lot less patient with my child and at work. I have cried or lashed out when stressed and I know a lot of it has to do with eating junk, not working out and trying to manage my monumental stress alone. My family has tried to offer their support financially and through conversation and that has helped but I know the onus is on me to get it together. I have started praying and meditating with more regularity and I have started to go to church. I found a tenant for my basement apartment so I have more money coming in, but I need to do so much more!  I need to create an actual budget and stick to it. I need to make meal plans and stick to them. I need to set my alarm earlier and do some exercise. I need to be better with my time and spend less time on Facebook and playing Works with Friends. I need to say no when someone offers me a donut! Most of this is my fault and I have no one to blame but myself. Yes, moving overseas creates stress; yes, saying no to junk food takes willpower; yes, getting up early to work out bites; yes, sticking to a budget is no fun; yes, single parenting is hard; yes, being the sole breadwinner is scary… All of these things are true but I have to figure out how to get to my goal without using them as an excuse.

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