Archive for the ‘Cooked food’ Category

Always Some Excuse

So breakfast was juice and lunch was a smoothie. But the weather was cold and I was heating up lunch for my daughter.. and I broke down. I ate some cauliflower with cheddar and butter and some black-eyed peas with carrots that had been prepared using smoked turkey and chicken stock. Did I eat any grains? No. Anything processed? Not really. Anything with refined sugar? No. But I had animal products and beans which I said I wouldn’t have. Was I asleep by ten? Yes. Did I wake up early and do yoga? Yes. I am proud of what I accomplished but annoyed with myself for not sticking to my plan, especially as I look in the mirror and see my checks are still covered with hives or this rash or whatever this is.

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It is winter. We got a ton of snow yesterday. I want warm food. In the movie Joe fasted when it was warm weather. So did the other guy they highlighted, Phil. I’m pretty sure it was warm when Daniel and Jesus¬† and Gandhi and other religious figures fasted. Who solely drinks cold juices when it’s 20 degrees outside? I’m sure people do it but gosh darn it if it doesn’t make it more difficult. Though, then again, some folks fast without any food or drink and do it when it’s 100 degrees outside. It’s done. It’s not comfortable. It’s not supposed to be easy or fun or comfortable. I think this really illuminates what kind of person I am. I want what I want when I want it. I gave in. I indulged myself. I didn’t persevere. I gave up.

I gave up.

It got too hard.

It wasn’t fair.

I did the yoga, I got some sleep. I avoided grains and sugar… so I justified eating the food. I did part of it.

But I didn’t do exactly what I set out to do.

Why not? Why was I okay with doing just a half-assed job? Or rather (because I was not okay with it) why did I give up? My skin/energy level/health are suffering! Isn’t that enough?

What is my deal?

I have no idea. This is interesting though. Depressing. Enlightening. Maddening. Infuriating! Sad.

On to Day 2. Or rather Day 1 again. Wish me luck.

Let’s Get Personal Shall We?

Okay so here’s the truth: I went WAY off the cleanse. Today I went out to dinner and ordered salad (ok) and grilled fish (not raw) and brocolli (overcooked and mushy and sadly definitely not raw) and wine and ICE CREAM. what in the world am i doing?!

I feel bloated.

And guilty.

And annoyed with myself.

And weak.

And disappointed in myself.

And gross.

And full.

And unsatisfied.

My excuse? Or maybe it’s a valid reason but i got my period. I had cravings I don’t usually have. Perhaps this is why my willpower or resolve or determination faltered. But I also noticed my cramps (so far) have been virtually non-existent.

And here’s another thing I realized is critical to make this work you MUST be prepared and well-rested enough to want to put in the effort.¬† I slept terribly last night and that surely contributed. All I know is I need to get focused or I will gain back all the weight I have lost and I don’t want that to happen!

I need a citrus juicer.

I’m tired.

That is all.

Tomorrow is another day.

Thai Food is Not Allowed on a Water Fast

Just clarifying that for you in case you were unaware. :(. Ok, so yeah. Today on the 28 day cleanse was supposed to be a water fast and today was the day I totally broke my raw foods stint and ate cooked food.

I woke up exhausted and with a sore throat. I don’t think it was any kind of detoxing symptoms but rather that it was freezing in my apartment. Then again I was also super emotional yesterday too. I was feeling overwhelmed by the things in my life and felt like crying all day. I don’t know what that was about but I digress. So anyways it was really cold, like 50 degrees last night…in July! I am not kidding. I was SOOO cold! So I woke up feeling like crap and I knew only water today wasn’t going to cut it.

I started the day with a smoothie made with blueberries, kale, one tiny sugar plum, a peach, banana and some almond milk. It was really good but a few hrs later I was hungry for some food so I made myself a sandwich with wheat bread and sunflower nut butter and banana and had a glass of almond milk. I gotta be honest: it was just okay. I snacked on the goji berry cacao squares I have stashed in my freezer and had some more blueberries then I went out for dinner later.

Dinner was at a Thai restaurant. My friend got delayed on the Metro and I really wanted a glass of wine while I waited but instead I ordered the seaweed salad. When he arrived we shared some salmon avocado sushi which was delicious. For dinner I ordered a dish with eggplant, chicken and basil and ate it with rice. I also had a bite of his lamb. My daughter, on the other hand, was truly horrified that he was eating lamb. I asked to sample it and he offered some to her. She had a sad look on her face and said, “No, I will never eat lamb! I like lambs, I don’t eat lambs! They are so cute!!” Of course I immediately had a picture of a sweet, fluffy lamb on a green pasture and could barely swallow my bite. She’s right, we shouldn’t be eating lambs, they are sweet. I wouldn’t be surprised if she became a vegetarian at some point in her young life.

Anyways, I ate my food but it was just okay. It was weird to have my food at that high (heat) temperature. That was a sensation I wasn’t used to and chewing on the chicken wasn’t really as good as I was expecting. The sauce also was very salty to me. I used to really like that restaurant but maybe because I’ve been eating so clean can don’t enjoy the oils and sauces that might have been bottled or poorer quality. I found myself not able to finish my food which is highly unusual when it comes to me and Thai food.

After dinner my daughter wanted some ice cream and she decided on mint. She was raving about it and both she and the saleslady were encouraging me to sample it but I couldn’t. I had ZERO taste for that sugary treat. Really, really odd. I LOVE ice cream but I just haven’t had any interest since starting this raw foods cleanse in eating sweets. My cravings have essentially disappeared. I love this side benefit.

After dinner I felt bloated and gassy and fell right to sleep exhausted. I am typing this, however, at 3:40am. I woke up about an hour ago very hot (I slept in a sweatshirt) and got up to pee and decided to look at videos on raw food on YouTube and type this post instead. You know what’s crazy though?! I was waking up in the middle of the night for weeks and as soon as I started eating raw I was sleeping through the night. One day of cooked food and I’m back to waking up. Interesting.

I need to force myself to get back to sleep now because, well, sleep is necessary and good for you but also because I’m touring a private school tomorrow for my daughter and I’m sure they will be sizing me up as well. After this experience I think it will be easy to get back on track tomorrow.