Archive for the ‘Cravings’ Category

I’m Feeling Great!

Day 6 is here of eating clean and I am starting to feel much better. I am not bloated and I think my skin seems to be clearing up as well! I am happy to say that  it hasn’t been difficult either. I have had some cravings for salty snacks but surprisingly not sugar. I haven’t signed up for yoga yet and I’m not exercising much at all but I am drinking tons and tons of water. Though I’m trying hard to not weigh myself I did step on the scale this morning and was surprised to see that I have already lost four pounds! We leave for Mexico soon and at this rate I expect to have lost at least ten, maybe more. Yay! 🙂

Now that I feel like I am on a roll and will be able to continue eating well for the long haul, I am going to post my before pictures. Hey, I only get about 3 visitors to my blog a day so it’s not a big deal. I acknowledge that look really, really awful but by this time next summer I am going to be one hot mama so who cares?! Ok, here we go…


It’s a skirt suit so I am holding it back so you can see me legs in all their cellulite-covered glory. 😦


































Why is my right shoulder lower than my left? Okay, that’s an issue for another day. So there you have it; my before shots. I know I look terrible so you don’t need to tell me! But if you feel the need to comment on how horrific I look, go ahead. I can take it. I am excited finally be serious about this and I plan to post pictures of the progress that I make.

Happy 4th of July!

Always Some Excuse

So breakfast was juice and lunch was a smoothie. But the weather was cold and I was heating up lunch for my daughter.. and I broke down. I ate some cauliflower with cheddar and butter and some black-eyed peas with carrots that had been prepared using smoked turkey and chicken stock. Did I eat any grains? No. Anything processed? Not really. Anything with refined sugar? No. But I had animal products and beans which I said I wouldn’t have. Was I asleep by ten? Yes. Did I wake up early and do yoga? Yes. I am proud of what I accomplished but annoyed with myself for not sticking to my plan, especially as I look in the mirror and see my checks are still covered with hives or this rash or whatever this is.


It is winter. We got a ton of snow yesterday. I want warm food. In the movie Joe fasted when it was warm weather. So did the other guy they highlighted, Phil. I’m pretty sure it was warm when Daniel and Jesus  and Gandhi and other religious figures fasted. Who solely drinks cold juices when it’s 20 degrees outside? I’m sure people do it but gosh darn it if it doesn’t make it more difficult. Though, then again, some folks fast without any food or drink and do it when it’s 100 degrees outside. It’s done. It’s not comfortable. It’s not supposed to be easy or fun or comfortable. I think this really illuminates what kind of person I am. I want what I want when I want it. I gave in. I indulged myself. I didn’t persevere. I gave up.

I gave up.

It got too hard.

It wasn’t fair.

I did the yoga, I got some sleep. I avoided grains and sugar… so I justified eating the food. I did part of it.

But I didn’t do exactly what I set out to do.

Why not? Why was I okay with doing just a half-assed job? Or rather (because I was not okay with it) why did I give up? My skin/energy level/health are suffering! Isn’t that enough?

What is my deal?

I have no idea. This is interesting though. Depressing. Enlightening. Maddening. Infuriating! Sad.

On to Day 2. Or rather Day 1 again. Wish me luck.

It’s Been a Long Week

Work drama, kid drama, overwhelmed with details. These haven’t made it easy to stay focused but I am here to report that I have done very well! There was pizza at work on Thursday and I didn’t cave and eat any; someone offered me a sweetened yogurt and I turned it down, and most impressive: I made my daughter a delicious looking grilled cheese sandwich yesterday and didn’t make one for myself–and, boy, did I want to!!

Last night I made an amazing dinner: baked chicken thighs with butter and rosemary, acorn squash with butter and cinnamon and a salad with romaine, raisins, cashews and a homemade basil dressing. It was delicious! During the week I drank several green smoothies, ate loads of veggies and drank a ton of water. I am pretty proud of myself thus far.

Now it’s time for a confession, well two.

#1. My daughter asked me to buy her the canned chili from Trader Joe’s after she sampled it in the store and liked it. I caved because it is so hard to pack her something for lunch that she likes. Tonight at dinner she claimed it was too spicy and couldn’t eat it (because she was ready for dessert) but I took a mouthful to be sure. Yeah, no. Not spicy at all. I spit it out but it did have sugar in it.

#2. This second example though is faaaaaaaaar worse and even embarrassing to post…. My sugar cravings were pretty intense the other night. I was craving something sweet so I made some pumpkin muffins with almond flour. The recipe I used called for honey. They turned out okay but not the right sweetener for my taste; the next time I make them I will use maple syrup instead. So after sampling one  I decided I should put butter and maple syrup on them to make them tastier. The maple syrup was so tasty I ended up eating several licks (like 50) of plain syrup!! Not kidding! It tasted oh so good but made me realize my sugar addiction is strong (as if I didn’t know that) and I need to keep on pressing on to try to get through it.

The biggest hurdle is preparation and time. One day all I had was grape tomatoes for lunch! That was no fun! LOL. Today is Sunday so I need to cook some food for the week and freeze it to be sure we always have healthy sugar and wheat-free options available. I did make some applesauce this week which my daughter declared was better than store-bought (score!) which is already in the fridge and I plan to make some pumpkin oatmeal today. It feels like the 1950s and even though I don’t enjoy doing all this cooking, I must admit the food tastes awesome!

Starting Over

I woke up today feeling terrible! I have terrible back pain reminiscent of how it used to feel often in the past year. I used to blame the mattress but now I’m not so sure. I didn’t have any back pain when I was eating raw. None and now it’s back. It could be partly because I feel asleep in a sugar-induced coma on the floor last night after writing my blog post and transferred to my bed in the middle of the night sometime but it could also be due to the food. But let’s be real: Falling asleep in a massive sugar-induced heap on the floor isn’t a good look!

So let’s recap. Last night for dinner I had bread with olive oil and spices and I ate one of my friend’s grilled shrimp. Then I ate my salad which was Romaine, cherry tomatoes, croutons, cucumber and dressing. For dinner I ordered grilled salmon with a Creole mustard sauce and broccoli. The broccoli was boiled to death and was mushy and had no flavor. What a travesty to ruin a delightfully, vibrant vegetable like that! I couldn’t even force my daughter to eat that it was so bad. I had 1.5 glasses of Sauvignon Blanc with it and then a double scoop of ice-cream: cookies and cream and chocolate chip.

Could it have been any worse?! Dairy. Gluten. Alcohol. Sugar!!! Who knows what the culprit was but I am paying the price. I feel bloated and gross this morning and it’s been ten hours. Back pain, bloating, grogginess, achy joints, feeling tired–not well rested at all. Sure I enjoyed just eating whatever I wanted in the moment but this feeling is so not worth it. Really. I’m going to hit the Farmer’s Market today and load up on healing, delicious raw foods and I am going to swing by Bed, Bath and Beyond and get a citrus juicer.

And here’s one more thing that makes me so mad I ate like that last night: I had planned on taking my daughter on a hike this morning. It isn’t hot or raining and we  have the time. It’s a perfect Saturday to do this but I have no energy! I feel sick! I just want to lie here and do nothing. This is no way to live! What kind of role model am I to my daughter if I eat junk and lie like a slug on the floor on a Saturday morning? I want to be the active family who eats fresh foods and bounces out the door on the weekends to do active things. If that is to happen it is up to me.

Please send some good vibes out there to the Universe for me to get back in focus. I really really do want this.

Thai Food is Not Allowed on a Water Fast

Just clarifying that for you in case you were unaware. :(. Ok, so yeah. Today on the 28 day cleanse was supposed to be a water fast and today was the day I totally broke my raw foods stint and ate cooked food.

I woke up exhausted and with a sore throat. I don’t think it was any kind of detoxing symptoms but rather that it was freezing in my apartment. Then again I was also super emotional yesterday too. I was feeling overwhelmed by the things in my life and felt like crying all day. I don’t know what that was about but I digress. So anyways it was really cold, like 50 degrees last night…in July! I am not kidding. I was SOOO cold! So I woke up feeling like crap and I knew only water today wasn’t going to cut it.

I started the day with a smoothie made with blueberries, kale, one tiny sugar plum, a peach, banana and some almond milk. It was really good but a few hrs later I was hungry for some food so I made myself a sandwich with wheat bread and sunflower nut butter and banana and had a glass of almond milk. I gotta be honest: it was just okay. I snacked on the goji berry cacao squares I have stashed in my freezer and had some more blueberries then I went out for dinner later.

Dinner was at a Thai restaurant. My friend got delayed on the Metro and I really wanted a glass of wine while I waited but instead I ordered the seaweed salad. When he arrived we shared some salmon avocado sushi which was delicious. For dinner I ordered a dish with eggplant, chicken and basil and ate it with rice. I also had a bite of his lamb. My daughter, on the other hand, was truly horrified that he was eating lamb. I asked to sample it and he offered some to her. She had a sad look on her face and said, “No, I will never eat lamb! I like lambs, I don’t eat lambs! They are so cute!!” Of course I immediately had a picture of a sweet, fluffy lamb on a green pasture and could barely swallow my bite. She’s right, we shouldn’t be eating lambs, they are sweet. I wouldn’t be surprised if she became a vegetarian at some point in her young life.

Anyways, I ate my food but it was just okay. It was weird to have my food at that high (heat) temperature. That was a sensation I wasn’t used to and chewing on the chicken wasn’t really as good as I was expecting. The sauce also was very salty to me. I used to really like that restaurant but maybe because I’ve been eating so clean can don’t enjoy the oils and sauces that might have been bottled or poorer quality. I found myself not able to finish my food which is highly unusual when it comes to me and Thai food.

After dinner my daughter wanted some ice cream and she decided on mint. She was raving about it and both she and the saleslady were encouraging me to sample it but I couldn’t. I had ZERO taste for that sugary treat. Really, really odd. I LOVE ice cream but I just haven’t had any interest since starting this raw foods cleanse in eating sweets. My cravings have essentially disappeared. I love this side benefit.

After dinner I felt bloated and gassy and fell right to sleep exhausted. I am typing this, however, at 3:40am. I woke up about an hour ago very hot (I slept in a sweatshirt) and got up to pee and decided to look at videos on raw food on YouTube and type this post instead. You know what’s crazy though?! I was waking up in the middle of the night for weeks and as soon as I started eating raw I was sleeping through the night. One day of cooked food and I’m back to waking up. Interesting.

I need to force myself to get back to sleep now because, well, sleep is necessary and good for you but also because I’m touring a private school tomorrow for my daughter and I’m sure they will be sizing me up as well. After this experience I think it will be easy to get back on track tomorrow.