Posts Tagged ‘cravings’

Always Some Excuse

So breakfast was juice and lunch was a smoothie. But the weather was cold and I was heating up lunch for my daughter.. and I broke down. I ate some cauliflower with cheddar and butter and some black-eyed peas with carrots that had been prepared using smoked turkey and chicken stock. Did I eat any grains? No. Anything processed? Not really. Anything with refined sugar? No. But I had animal products and beans which I said I wouldn’t have. Was I asleep by ten? Yes. Did I wake up early and do yoga? Yes. I am proud of what I accomplished but annoyed with myself for not sticking to my plan, especially as I look in the mirror and see my checks are still covered with hives or this rash or whatever this is.


It is winter. We got a ton of snow yesterday. I want warm food. In the movie Joe fasted when it was warm weather. So did the other guy they highlighted, Phil. I’m pretty sure it was warm when Daniel and Jesus  and Gandhi and other religious figures fasted. Who solely drinks cold juices when it’s 20 degrees outside? I’m sure people do it but gosh darn it if it doesn’t make it more difficult. Though, then again, some folks fast without any food or drink and do it when it’s 100 degrees outside. It’s done. It’s not comfortable. It’s not supposed to be easy or fun or comfortable. I think this really illuminates what kind of person I am. I want what I want when I want it. I gave in. I indulged myself. I didn’t persevere. I gave up.

I gave up.

It got too hard.

It wasn’t fair.

I did the yoga, I got some sleep. I avoided grains and sugar… so I justified eating the food. I did part of it.

But I didn’t do exactly what I set out to do.

Why not? Why was I okay with doing just a half-assed job? Or rather (because I was not okay with it) why did I give up? My skin/energy level/health are suffering! Isn’t that enough?

What is my deal?

I have no idea. This is interesting though. Depressing. Enlightening. Maddening. Infuriating! Sad.

On to Day 2. Or rather Day 1 again. Wish me luck.


Starting Over

I woke up today feeling terrible! I have terrible back pain reminiscent of how it used to feel often in the past year. I used to blame the mattress but now I’m not so sure. I didn’t have any back pain when I was eating raw. None and now it’s back. It could be partly because I feel asleep in a sugar-induced coma on the floor last night after writing my blog post and transferred to my bed in the middle of the night sometime but it could also be due to the food. But let’s be real: Falling asleep in a massive sugar-induced heap on the floor isn’t a good look!

So let’s recap. Last night for dinner I had bread with olive oil and spices and I ate one of my friend’s grilled shrimp. Then I ate my salad which was Romaine, cherry tomatoes, croutons, cucumber and dressing. For dinner I ordered grilled salmon with a Creole mustard sauce and broccoli. The broccoli was boiled to death and was mushy and had no flavor. What a travesty to ruin a delightfully, vibrant vegetable like that! I couldn’t even force my daughter to eat that it was so bad. I had 1.5 glasses of Sauvignon Blanc with it and then a double scoop of ice-cream: cookies and cream and chocolate chip.

Could it have been any worse?! Dairy. Gluten. Alcohol. Sugar!!! Who knows what the culprit was but I am paying the price. I feel bloated and gross this morning and it’s been ten hours. Back pain, bloating, grogginess, achy joints, feeling tired–not well rested at all. Sure I enjoyed just eating whatever I wanted in the moment but this feeling is so not worth it. Really. I’m going to hit the Farmer’s Market today and load up on healing, delicious raw foods and I am going to swing by Bed, Bath and Beyond and get a citrus juicer.

And here’s one more thing that makes me so mad I ate like that last night: I had planned on taking my daughter on a hike this morning. It isn’t hot or raining and we  have the time. It’s a perfect Saturday to do this but I have no energy! I feel sick! I just want to lie here and do nothing. This is no way to live! What kind of role model am I to my daughter if I eat junk and lie like a slug on the floor on a Saturday morning? I want to be the active family who eats fresh foods and bounces out the door on the weekends to do active things. If that is to happen it is up to me.

Please send some good vibes out there to the Universe for me to get back in focus. I really really do want this.

Rolling into Week 2 and Some Observations

Well today is Day 7 of the challenge and I must admit that I have not been 100% raw. I had the food and wine I posted about a couple of days ago and yesterday I went out for Ethiopian food. I did order the veggie platter and drank water but I ate injera and of course the food was cooked.

Here are some things I have learned doing this challenge:

1. Preparation is key! If you are out and about and don’t have some raw foods with you it will be VERY hard to remain focused. Why aren’t there vegan or raw food drive-thrus?! Can someone please open that chain? There is one vegetarian restaurant with raw food options not too far from my house so I have been frequenting there but no other places are as accessible. That is shocking to me for living in such a large city. While there I mentioned trying to be raw and I loved the comment I got. When I mentioned wanting some fish (the cashier is vegetarian) he told me to “stay strong” and that I could do it. When I mentioned being hungry he pointed me to some raw protein powder. This leads me to #2.

2. Surround yourself with like-minded people. It’s so much easier to be supported than to be mocked!

3. When I eat cooked foods I get cravings afterwards for something sweet. This I find very interesting. If I stay raw I don’t which is perhaps due to my body getting what it needs at that meal and being satiated.

4. Too much celery in green juice isn’t tasty.

5. Packaged raw desserts, though not technically on the program, are a life saver when out running errands or too busy/tired/unprepared to make a real meal. And shockingly they taste pretty good when you eat raw foods most of the time!

I am going to go grocery shopping this week for more greens. I run out them quickly with juicing so frequently. I think I will need to shop 2-3x a week like the French to keep things fresh and plentiful.

I Blame the Men

I didn’t eat raw yesterday. 😦  I know! It was only day 4 or 5 (I’m losing track) but it was because I had two dates!

Ok, let me go back. I started out the day fine. I had some fresh squeezed grapefruit and orange juice for breakfast and I didn’t eat lunch because I had no appetite. In fact my stomach was kind of bothering me. Later though I started feeling really light-headed and dizzy. This surprised me since I have never really reacted to not eating or had low blood sugar to my knowledge but I suspect that was what it was. I didn’t want to eat anything but around 3:00 I figured it might help so I ate one raw almond butter cacao truffle and some water and then my stomach really started hurting so by the time dinner rolled around I was dragging myself there. But I had to go. See I am on a dating website and I have been talking to this guy for about three months and we finally made a plan to meet last night. I wanted to postpone but I didn’t think that would be right so we met for dinner at a restaurant he chose. It was a good choice because I knew I could at least get a vegan meal even if it wasn’t raw. I ordered gazpacho with guacamole and olive oil, pan-fried tofu with quinoa and roasted vegetables and I had a cup of camomile tea with honey. (And one bite of his grilled salmon). It was tasty but if I were going to eat cooked food I would have preferred the crab cakes with grits or the grilled salmon with mashed potatoes. Man, just typing those meals has me hungry!!!

Anyway, we had a nice dinner but what I discovered was after dinner I had intense cravings for something sweet and suggested we get some ice cream. Luckily we couldn’t find it so we said our good-byes because he had a plane to catch and I hopped in my car to leave. Just then I got a phone call from a guy I used to date years ago whom I haven’t seen since I moved back into town and he suggested we hook up for a quick drink. He wanted to get margaritas but we nixed that (I would have caved at the chips and salsa) and thankfully went to another restaurant where I had one glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. So, there you have it. After my friend and I said good-bye I had to laugh. Why did the lyrics to that Notorious B.I.G song pop into my mind?

“Isn’t this great? Your flight leaves at eight.
Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds
Lyrically I’m supposed to represent
I’m not only a client, I’m the player President.”

Cracked me up.